Parenting is not something one should ever take lightly. Having children is a 24-hours business and taking good care of your kids is something you should invest time to study and learn; preferably not on their expense. But very few parents are always conscious of the fact that their present choices and behavior can and will shape the character of their kids.
Treating your child with the same respect and attention you want it to treat you later is not always what parents focus on today. Job related problems, economic worries, stress, and less free time, can make parents grouchy, which in turn can lead children to their rooms feeling isolated and unappreciated.
I do not doubt that you love your child. Actually, in a perfect world all parents would. But respecting their choices and understanding their fears are areas that parents need to pay special attention to.
Family studies over the years have shown that children problems like eating disorders, depression, and aggressiveness, are directly linked with the child’s psychological state, which greatly depends on how appreciated it feels and if it can trust and be trusted by its parents.
Usual complaints that youngsters, belonging to all age groups, have in common are the lack of parental trust and their feeling of being isolated. It is crucial that you do not disregard your kid’s opinion; even when it seems to be silly or does not make any sense. Your children might not yet be adults, but they will become one someday.
You do not wish your children to be afraid to state their opinions in the future based on the negative experiences they had to face inside your house today. It is a very unpleasant feeling to think that your own parents do not trust you enough to speak to you, or to realize that they consider you incapable of handling any kind of important information.
The outcome is that you will not be trusted too. A child treated with such disrespect will actually disrespect others, beginning with his or her parents.
If you observe that your kid prefers to avoid any chance of speaking to you or confide, then you should realize that you are about to cross dangerous waters. If the child does not feel trusted, it will not trust in turn. It’s only logical. Thus, if you want your kids to consider themselves to be members of your family and not that they are accidentally under the same roof with you, speak and let your children get involved. They might not understand a lot at the beginning or at an early age, but it is your job to teach them how and what they can do to help.
Demonstrate to your children through relaxed but frequent discussions that their opinion does matter for you and gain their trust. Sometimes it takes only a moment to make all the difference in the world.